Don't blow out his candle to make yours appear brighter....

Why does everything in life always seem so complicated? And why, just when something or someone comes along that finally seems easy, does the drama all of a sudden show up like a red wine stain on a white dress? What I am learning, is that everyone has a past. And no matter how demure or upstanding someone tries to be, we all have skeletons that we would just as soon stay in our closets. So why is it then, that we are so quick to judge those whose skeletons were not so easy to hide? "Let ye who is perfect cast the first stone" has long been forgotten. Today, folks are lining up with boulders to throw, not caring that they themselves live in glass houses. My mother used to tell me growing up that people picked on me because they secretly liked me, or they were jealous of me, or because it made their insecurities seem smaller to point out mine. Sadly, this is true in the adult world. Just because someone may have a higher level of education, and a more expensive car and house, does not make them a higher quality of person. It doesn't take a cape to make you a hero. It doesn't take a suit of shining armor to rescue the maiden. It takes confidence in yourself, and love in your heart. I know a man who is the perfect antonym for humble. He's quick to judge, quick to boast, and very slow to consider others. He wants everyone to believe that he lives a perfect life because he can throw money at them. In reality though, he lives a very sad life. And even with people all around him, he is very lonely. I know another man who works for a living. Puts his family first. Would kill or die trying just to protect someone he loves. A man that reminds me of my Grampa with his rugged exterior, but soft heart. A man that made mistakes, but spends every day regretting them and trying to move forward in a positive way. The first man shuns the second man, and declares him second class. He tries to cause problems for him. Now, if I refer back to my mother's reasonings of why kids picked on me, I know that in this case it is not because there is a secret crush. I believe it is a combination of jealousy and insecurity. Because even all of the first man's money and power couldn't buy the affection of the girl he so desperately wanted. He put himself first one day too many, and she walked away. The second man found her, and slowly began putting the broken pieces back together. The first man did everything he could to make the second man look bad in her eyes. It worked...at first. But the second man persisted, and slowly she began to see that his actions meant far more than the first man's empty words. That money and status were nothing compared to safety and security. That the first man's words couldn't and didn't hurt her once she had someone by her side who truly loved her for her and wanted to not only be her lover, but her best friend and confidant. This says a lot about life in general. Everything we learned on the playground in elementary school about bullies carries over into our adulthood. But at the end of the day, if you have someone by your side that makes you feel safe and secure, then no bully (child or adult) in the world can blow out your candle. They may steal your lunch money, but it's okay...your best friend brought their lunch, and a sandwich can be split in half.