I'm Moving On

I can't get the line from that Rascal Flatts song out of my head..."I'm moving on, at last I can see, time has been patiently waiting for me and I know there's no guarantee but I'm not alone." And the other line that says "I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong, I'm moving on." The song has always been a favorite of mine, but hit especially hard for me as I was packing my house to move, and again last night when I loaded the final item into my car...my wedding dress. I looked around the empty house that was supposed to be a home for my family and suddenly those lyrics came floating into my head. I looked at my daughter who had fallen asleep in the car while I loaded things. I thought about picking up my cell phone, but who would I call? My ex? No. My mother? No. My boyfriend? No. So I closed the car door and got in to take that last trip down my long driveway. It was dark. The moon was out and full. I drove down the drive and turned onto the country road for the last time. Once I got back to my cram packed townhouse I was too tired to do anything but carry my baby girl upstairs and go to bed. But I couldn't sleep. Not because I was in a strange place though. It didn't feel strange. It felt comfortable. Like it had been waiting for me all this time. I couldn't sleep because I so badly wanted to begin unpacking and finding a place for everything. But my body just wouldn't let me. I was physically and emotionally exhausted and all I could do was lay there. And once again that song came to mind and I realized that I AM moving on, and it took having to move out of that house to really feel like I am going forward. Yes, I have started a new relationship, and it is fabulous. Yes, I have been promoted and transferred at work. Yes, I am back to being the mother and the person that I know I can be. But not until all of my belongings were out of that house and stacked to the ceiling in a new place did I truly feel a new beginning. Today I am tired from not sleeping, but I am wide awake to the all of the possibilities before me. The world is my oyster so they say. I think I'll go home tonight, take a hot shower and try a new recipe. If I can find my shampoo and pots and pans, that is.